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CRABS

We’re all adults here, true enough. But sometimes we don’t all act as such. And if there’s one concept in the local music scene that gets under my skin more than any other, it’s this mentality that is commonly referred to as “crabs in a bucket”. You see, our delicious crustaceans are all piled into a bucket, much like musicians in a parish. And sometimes one of those crabs gets close to toppling over the edge and escaping (a.k.a. “making it big”). And for some reason, a crab beneath him will reach up and pull that crab down. Now this crab beneath him doesn’t stand to gain any ground by doing this. In fact, if crabs had morals, one could probably hear the others sneering at this bizarre activity. But they just gargle and bubble, and keep on pulling each other down. I come to work here at NOM because I believe in the cause. I believe that if we all unite under one flagship, we could each become greater than the sum of our own individual parts. In other words, if your band joins and several hundred other bands join, we pool our resources and become this collective. And why not? We share the common goal of improving our skill set, broadening our reach, increasing our opportunities. Yet there are some knuckleheads out there that operate under the notion that “you’re either with me or against me”.

I’ll never forget the moment I fell in love. It was when I noticed there was such a thing as a comfortable silence that could be shared between two people. There was no need to engage or provoke. I opened her door when her hands were full. She popped open a beer and brought it to me. We shared the same space and contributed to one another’s existence. There was no competition. There was no pulling one another down or trying to get ahead of each other. Ah, to coexist.

This mentality needs to be spread amongst the local music community. And I’m not just saying that for the betterment of Neworleansmusicians.com. I’m saying it because IF this community is going to flourish, we are all going to have to come together. Some of us are alphas and we butt heads. Some of us have a competitive streak and are quick to react out of spite. But ultimately, we are all brothers and sisters of the groove. And if y’all want to keep this train running, we’ve all got to push in the same direction.

I recently spoke with a bassist that relayed a story to me about how he was kicked out of one band for behavior that was later embraced by another. I talked to a singer that pointed out how people began to question her new band’s talent simply because they were able to open up for somebody big their first show. I spoke to a guitarist that recalled when a guy from another band came to his show just to mess up his merch table. Mess up somebody’s merch table?? Come on man! Swallow your pride and revert back to the comfortable silence. With the same femme fatale by whom I once discovered love, I noticed this sort of super power I possessed. There were times when she would lash out. And everything in me wanted to push her away for it. One time, for a reason I can’t recall, I instead extended an olive branch. And it wasn’t in the context of a direct response to her lashing. It was just a, hey I’m still here. I’m still the same person regardless of your acting out. We’re still cool and I hold no malice. In fact, you seem like you’re in a bad place and please, let me know if I can help.

This was all an unspoken understanding or gesture between her and I. But if you were to get this dialogue rolling after some crabby situation took place, I think you’d be surprised at the outcome. Looking back, I can tell you my gesture toward that alleged femme fatale was disarming, and things de-escalated quickly. One last story before I call it a day. Years ago, two guys from the neighborhood got into it over who knows what. But they were both heated and it culminated in a fight right in the middle of the street. In the end, as with any fight, there was a winner and there was a loser. But in this particular situation, the winner extended his hand. He helped the loser up. The beef was squashed with that one simple gesture. It’s been well over a decade since that fight. And the two are friends to this day. In that one moment, when this disastrous apogee clearly became out of control, a helping hand was extended. And just like that, the bucket had vanished.

Author: Lingo Starr

lingo_starr@yahoo.com

Neworleansmusicians.com

Neworleansmusicians.com Podcast can be found on these platforms.

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Our Reviewer Lingo Starr

While one might not be able to accuse him of being too friendly, he speaks his mind. And that’s brisk, baby.

Ice-T

Second cousin to a chemotherapist that stumbled upon the formula for Nair, Lingo had the discourse of being lost several times abroad due to his family’s constant vacationing. It was often rumored, but never confirmed, that these instances were intentional. As a small boy, he was suspected of having cerebral palsy when it was discovered that his mother had been putting (too much) whiskey in his bottle. Still, he managed to forge his own way in life, letting music be his guide. Though he was born   from a family of means, his family mismanaged their coffers. Because of this, Lingo did not in fact attend college. Instead, he attended college parties, pilfering the text books of others whenever possible. Sadly, he would be present at many graduations, only never on stage.

     Lingo’s exceptional writing skills were first formally recognized by the First Circuit Court of Appeals in Baton Rouge, Louisiana when he successfully forged a letter of pardon from the governor. Their embarrassment is the only reason he is still free today. After this brief stint in a “college” of his own, he fabricated an exceptional resume and sent it to Neworleansmusicians.com. We were unaware of the incredibly bogus nature of the document and jumped at the opportunity to have him in for an interview. To be fair, we did finally come to realize that he was not awarded the position of “Ketergantungan Kimiawi” during his residency in Indonesia. He didn’t even go to Indonesia. And Ketergantungan Kimiawi in English means chemically dependent. But this made it apparent that we had a clever one on our hands. And I like to believe that everyone has their strongpoints. So, we hired him.

     He doesn’t show up on time, if ever. And he seems to have an aversion to personal hygiene. Those that meet him are usually turned off by this and his boisterous nature. He has a passion for music though. And at times he unknowingly reveals an emotionable consciousness that wraps itself in melody and articulates that into beautiful, literal sonic expansions. In other words, the kid’s a damn good music writer and we’re keeping him. I hope you all look out for his pieces in the future because I know I will. I have to fact check our little fabricator and act as a purifier to the hot air he so graciously pumps out to the masses. Until then, he goes by many titles; some of them quite insulting. But his name is Lingo Starr. And for all you local Louisiana bands out there, if you’d like your single reviewed and written about, he’s your man. You MUST be a member of Neworleansmusicians.com for your submissions to be considered. And while we get him set up, you can submit your single to neworleansmusicians@gmail.com and I’ll make sure he gets his ass to the office (hopefully on time) and starts these reviews!

Author: David Trahan

Neworleansmusicians.com

Neworleansmusicians.com Podcast can be found on these platforms.

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Who is Lingo Starr?

Ever since my boy Devin ran it down to me, my mantra has been this: “I try to take a cigarette break every hour, on the hour”. Of course, he was talking about where I could find him while we were at work. But I thought to myself, I think I’ll adopt that modus operandi and apply it to life in general. I tend to implement a real “take it or leave it” approach to things. And for the most part, society doesn’t make sense to me (this will become apparent to you in future rants). I’m here with Neworleansmusicians.com for several reasons. First and foremost, I love music; the passion, the grit, the ability to make a connection without saying a word. And I love New Orleans. There’s just no other place like it on earth. If I had to move out of this state, you could stab me. If I had to move north of the Mason Dixon line, you might as well just shoot me. I’ve seen Narnia, and fuck that. I don’t have to go that far to find mounds of white powder. Anyway, my intentions are true. I tend to rant at times. And honestly, I think that’s why they signed me on here. But I intend to give it to the readers raw dog, like I already know y’all don’t have an STD. I don’t want a following, but I do want people to feel me.  I’m not flashy, but I am loud. If you see me out, be prepared to drink, or fuck, or fight. In my opinion, the bands in New Orleans, and the surrounding areas for that matter, are due a lot more credit. I really think this site is going to help deliver it to them. And hell, even if it doesn’t, it’s free! I want to see bands coming together on here with fans. This is not some giant corporate worldwide bucket for local bands in which to be a drop. This is a soap box for US. And it’s a chance for local bands to actually make a connection with their fan base and do for self. So, to the bands I say, come hither! Sell your merch, book your own shows and tours, peruse NOM’s directory and DIY! This is what it’s all about…the experience of making it. I’ll be here on the sidelines, with a bucket of popcorn, some 3D glasses, and something loud like a bullhorn or something. If any bands out there want to score an interview and some free press, NOM is accepting e-mail submissions at neworleansmusicians@yahoo.com. And by submission, I mean send them something good man; a back story, and a link to your music. I guess that’s about it kiddos. So, yeah, this is me…. Howdy!

Funky Fresh Dressed to Impress,

Lingo

Neworleansmusicians.com

Lingo_starr@yahoo.com

Neworleansmusicians.com Podcast can be found on these platforms.